INTERNETS....I HAVE THEM!!!!
So I was (freaking finally) given connection to the internets yesterday. The Bell tech needed access to the apartment (turns out our unit's phone lines were cut) but no one was home. When my housemate returned, he called to let me know that a message was left. After informing him to take care of it, he did, and my poor DSL modem that has been struggling for a week to connect to Teksavvy was finally able to see the data signal.
The odd part of this story is when the tech went to the modem to see if it had connected, he noticed my gigabit switch also plugged in. Apparently he declared it "not necessary" and unplugged my switch. This is after he's seen my expensive custom computers around the house. Needless to say I called him up after I returned home, thanked him for getting our internet to work, and (kindly) gave him feedback on unplugging the switch. Yeah, I'm like that.